Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Phony Foodies
I'm watching the Food Network (surprise!) and you know, cooking shows are so unrealistic. No normal person can cook the way they do. I would love to have a perfectly designed, decorated kitchen like Sandra Lee does. All her serving pieces, her utensils, her decorative nick-knacks, etc. coordinate perfectly with her curtains. Heck, even her outfit matches everything! And then there's Paula Deen. All those fried foods. Do you think her entire house reeks of grease all the time? I can fry something for 2 seconds and I have to air my house out for days. And do you ever see any splatters on her counter tops? And Rachel Ray? 30 minutes my rear! Even if I could whip something up that quick, it would entail at least one can of something heated up in the microwave. But Emeril is the best. I would cook every single night of the week if I could have a well-behaved audience cheering me on as I cook. "Yay! She's adding cilantro! And look at that beautiful pork loin! Woo-hoo! Now comes the salt and pepper! Oh, and actual fresh ground pepper at that! Standing ovation for her! Yay!" Whatever. You never see a cooking show about cereal or fish sticks, do ya?
And gasp when you add powdered sugar, like it's so scandalous??? Oh my goodness. And don't get me started on Sandra Lee. I can't stand that woman. I think she was a QVC host before Food Network. Cannot stand her.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm surprised that you think it's phony! I always breeze into the kitchen, welcomed by the pots and pans set out neatly, the spices measured out in those cute little glass containers, all the vegetables washed and chopped and the oven pre-heated! I have usually just returned from having my hair, make-up, and nails done, so it couldn't be any other way!! After the applause, I'm off to a book signing!!
ReplyDeleteIf Food Network was reality, Sandra Lee would take 100 hours to make her perfectly matching napkins, napkin rings and placeholders for each guest. Rachel Ray would have to fire the staff of people that make the meals "30 Minutes" and Paula Deen would finally admit that if you eat like she cooks for even one week, you'd gain 250lbs! :) I actually watched a show about cooking shows and one episode of Rachel Ray takes 8-10 hours to tape! You forgot to rag on Giana (whatever her name is with the big face and small body) with her perfectly pronounced Italian foods!
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